Are you familiar with the sayings of narcissistic mothers?
Narcissistic mothers have a damsel in distress complex.
They have idealized having a son that would be like a night and shining armor, ready to rescue her from someone or something threatening.
The narcissistic mother’s spouse is usually the threat that needs to be exterminated.
In many ways, the narcissistic mother replaces her spouse with her son and becomes the husband or mate that she can control for the rest of her life.
The real life sayings of narcissistic mothers to their sons is often abusive and manipulative words to coerce and dictate every detail of her son’s life.
Things narcissistic mothers say to their sons- Real life Sayings
Guilt Trips
The narcissistic mother uses the guilt trip to get her son to do her bidding. The narcissistic mother does not have appropriate boundaries and does not accept no from her son.
She will also use guilt as passive-aggressive communication.
It is easier to communicate that their feelings were hurt by shifting the blame onto their son.
Narcissistic mothers also communicate this way if they fear that their son will be able to see through her hurtful words .
The mother paints themselves as the victim that was wronged and it is up to the son to make it right by apologizing profusely then giving her narcissistic supply( accommodating her wants and needs).
Related Article: Hurtful Words Parents Say and How to Stop Now
Related article Childhood Trauma on Parents– Learn how childhood trauma can affect your parenting and how to overcome the biblical way.
Criticism/Shame
When the mother criticizes her son, this often means that she is projecting her fears onto her son. In this saying, “ you can do better than that” when referring to her son’s new girlfriend, is an attempt for the mother to gain control of her son’s life.
If another woman comes into the picture, she will fear losing her son to that other woman.
The narcissistic mother is the damsel in distress, or the woman locked in the tower that the son has to climb to save her.
Another woman, a college far away, or a new apartment, are all life-altering events that can drastically change the narcissistic mother- son relationship.
The narcissistic mother will do all she can to keep it from falling apart.
Related article: Learn the 7 Characteristics of being a godly mother to stop the cycle of abusive parenting.
Comparison with other children
Narcissistic mothers love to compare their sons with siblings because her own self-worth is tied up in the status of those she deems are inferior to her.
Life for the narcissistic mother is all about comparing herself to the next best thing. She pits her son against another child and at times will make the other child “ the golden child.”
The golden child then becomes the new status symbol or image that the scapegoat child ( the inferior child) has to now measure up to.
Codependent Words
A narcissistic mother cannot see her son being independent. This is a threat to her receiving narcissistic supply. She will often dismiss her son’s opinions, thoughts, or ideas as a way to devalue him.
I have personally seen situations of a narcissistic mother putting her son’s ideas of moving away to another state.
The narcissistic mother made comments that her son could not make it out there without her and that something catastrophic could happen to him.
This was fear provoking language that the narcissistic mother used to keep her child bonded to her and to keep him from moving out of the home.
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